


5 times James T. Kirk should have been afraid and wasn’t…

by oddegg



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-30
Updated: 2010-03-30
Packaged: 2017-10-08 13:04:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/75922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oddegg/pseuds/oddegg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the reboot kink meme, for the title prompt. (further proof that I can never pass up a '5 times' prompt)</p>
            </blockquote>





	5 times James T. Kirk should have been afraid and wasn’t…

1.  
He'd nearly gone over. Hands scrabbling on loose dirt and body sliding down, down till he'd managed to grab bedrock and drag himself back up. He hadn't really noticed.

Hadn't bothered him when he'd been hauled back to the cop shop and the stern warnings from the child welfare officer had sailed over his head like the roof of the convertible.

Even when Bobby had shown up and taken him back to the farmhouse, silent all the way back and radiated deadly anger, none of it had touched him. Not even when his stepfather had pulled him from the cab and yanked him – not into the house – but back to the barn. When Bobby had started to strip the belt from his jeans and Jim realised that this time he'd gone too far, that this time it wouldn't be a simple slap or a push or a vicious word. That this time he was gonna get hurt bad.

He still couldn't care, couldn't be afraid even when the belt whistled down. Because for just a few moment there he'd been flying, and not Bobby nor anyone else could ever touch that.

 

2.  
He was a 3rd year cadet who hadn't even officially graduated yet and he was now responsible for the safety of an entire ship full of the few classmates he had left, the last remaining members of a now endangered race, and the continued existence of his home planet.

He should have been shitting his pants sitting down in that chair. He just felt the most complete sense of _rightness_ he'd ever experienced.

 

3.  
He'd known he was going to get off the Narada alright, even being shot at, beaten down by Nero, choked by that other Romulan, trying to outrun an incipient black hole. Known it like he'd known his own name.

So Jim struggled not to laugh in the face of the pretty girl at the bar who'd leaned into him and breathed 'But weren't you _scared_?'; glanced up and caught Bones' eye, fought down the laughter again at his friends raised eyebrow as he grinned and said cockily

"Scared? Hey, I'm James Kirk baby, I don't _get_ scared!"

 

4.  
Turned out it wasn't just Bones' hyposprays he was sensitive to. Also turned out that having an allergic reaction to the tea on a low technology planet when the transporter was having difficulties? Not a good thing.

So Jim struggled to get air through a throat that was rapidly swelling closed as Bones swore and tried what drugs he had in his away kit out with increasing desperation, trying to find one that would 'work, damn it!'

He felt cold, even though this place was hot enough that an hour ago Spock had been looking almost at home while the rest of them had been feeling the heat. Now his First Officer was talking quietly but urgently to Scotty on the communicator, posture even stiffer than normal, but Jim couldn't hear what he was saying for the buzzing in his ears.

He wanted to tell his second in command to loosen up some, but there was that throat thing going on so he couldn't. And he wanted to tell Bones not to look so worried – he could make out the worry through the sparkly bits that were creeping over his vision, even though someone seemed to be turning the lights down – and he tried to reach up a hand to pat his CMO and best friend's cheek, but his arm wouldn't move.  
_"Hey Bones"_ he wanted to say _"You should smile more; you're handsome when you smile"_

Bones was mouthing something, and the light was nearly completely out now, but he thought he was saying 'Damn it, Jim! Stay with me!'

_"I want to Bones. I want to"_

 

5.  
Four against one? He'd dealt with those odds before.

Four Klingons against one very human Captain? When said Captain had what he was fairly sure was a fractured arm and busted ribs and a serious case of concussion and the warp core in the engine room of the pirated federation ship they were in was going into melt down?

He wasn't sure he could work out what those odds were when his head was all fuzzy like this. But he was damn certain he was going to get shouted at by Bones once he managed – somehow – to get back to the Enterprise. He blocked the first punch and kinda wished he was already there.

 

**…and the one time he was absolutely terrified**

1.  
They were on a quiet time for once. No dangerous missions, no embarrassing political incidents, just a smooth running ship and dark, empty space through the windows of the observation deck, with the brightness of stars far away, shining.

And Bones beside him, phobias forgotten for once as he leaned on the rail of the deck next to Jim and looked out into space with him; calm and silent with a slight smile on his face.

And there was no reason for Jim to feel like his throat was getting tight again. No reason at all except that he can feel the heat from Bones' arm next to his, see that faint curve of his lips. No reason for his heart to be pounding like this, like it wanted to leap out of his damn chest, when Bones leans over slightly to nudge Jim's shoulder with his and that deep voice rumbles next to him

"See?"

and when Jim looks in the direction that dark head nods in he sees a pin prick of light off to the right is flaring up, getting brighter and brighter as a star light years away from them goes supernova. Force and power being pulled inwards until something has to break; has to boil over and spill out in a display that could burn everything to ashes if you're not careful.

And it's like some part of Jim – hell, _most_ of him! – is standing by and watching, paralysed with fear and with a scream stuck in his throat, as Bones turns to him and Jim's hand comes up to cup the cheek of the best friend he's ever had and he leans in to kiss – soft and sweet and questioning – the lips that have been driving him crazy for the past five years.

Bones gives out a tiny exclamation of sound and Jim pulls back, heart suddenly taut and tight as he waits, eyes wide and wild, for a response.

Then Bones' eyes spark with something brighter even than the star's destruction behind them and he leans in again, murmuring 'Goddamn it, Jim. It's about fucking time'

And after this, Jim knows that he's never going to be afraid of anything ever again. Not with Bones to come back to.


End file.
